Who's at Risk?
A CNN poll revealed that 52% of women and 40% of men report that their stress levels go up during the holiday season. And that's no surprise.
It's also no surprise that men and women experience holiday stress differently. After all, in the weeks from Thanksgiving to New Years the traditional roles ignored for the rest of the year rise within us. The well-organized businesswoman may fall apart at the thought of planning and preparing the holiday feast. Worse yet, is serving it to critical parents and in-laws. Men who thought they were well aware of the wants of wife and kids suddenly find themselves panicked with the realization they have no idea what gifts to buy.
But certain personality types seem to be more prone to holiday stress than others. For some, at least, seasonal stress is only an add-on to the stress they experience every day. These include:
Perfectionists
Every gift, every meal, every small detail of an event has to be perfect. People with such unrealistic expectations will over-plan and over-execute. But nothing is perfect, and so perfectionists set themselves up for failure, though likely only in their eyes. During the bustle of the holidays, perfectionists often find that minor hassles pile up until they are impossible to deal with. Parties can't be enjoyed because they are too busy concentrating on the details to actually interact with family and friends.
Perfectionists, more so than others, must learn to limit the number of holiday events they will host, begin planning them ahead of time, start the work early and do their best to enlist the aid of families and friends. This can be difficult as these people tend to alienate helpers - after all, who can possibly live up to their lofty expectations? Perfectionists also need to cultivate one good, honest (and laidback) friend to tell them when they are going overboard and be honest about what is right or totally unreasonable with their holiday plans.
Worriers
Some people live in a constant state of high anxiety that increases when they are pulled out of their normal routines. The holidays, with all their unexpected pitfalls and delights, only aggravate this problem. They will worry about holiday budgets, holiday travel (be it across town or across the country), how relations who don't get along are going to behave at holiday gatherings, if they should attend holiday events, and what the hostesses will think if they refuse.
Like perfectionists, these people need to carefully organize and limit their holiday activities and enlist the aid of others. For example, simply having someone driving with them to an event can alleviate a great deal of stress. They also need to be logical about their fears. Some are reasonable, others may limit their capacity for joy. If anxiety is affecting exposure to family and friends, it could be time to consult a professional, especially since anxiety, if not treated, can lead to serious depression.
Read more about depression.
Angry personalities
The tree keeps falling over, the outside lights keep blinking off, the car won't start and the family is already late for the holiday service. These are minor annoyances to some, a reason for a major tantrum to others.
People who lash out in anger over minor annoyances are more likely to find specific events more stressful than other more laid-back people would. It's difficult to control all life's unexpected problems, so the best advice to the chronically angry is to seek counseling if possible and to practice some relaxation techniques.
Caregivers
People caring for a physically or mentally disabled spouse or other family member are at high risk for stress. According to the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, wives caring for a disabled spouse tend to experience significantly more stress than husbands in the same situation.
Having a low income, living alone with a patient, having a highly dependent patient and/or having a difficult relationship with the patient also increases stress.
If you are a caregiver, take advantage of the respite care resources in your community, and find a friend or family member to give you a night away from your caregiving responsibilities.
If you see a little bit of yourself in any of these personalities, you are at risk. Please read about
stress prevention,
holiday planning and
shopping survival.
