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For Some Couples, Starting a Family is Joyful But Complicated

Posted: Jan. 1, 2007

Having a baby is usually a time of excitement and anticipation for couples ready to start a family. However, sometimes the process is not easy. For thousands of couples each year, couples like Richard and Amy, the road to parenthood is a little more complicated.

Anxious to have a family of their own, Richard and Amy tried unsuccessfully several times to have a baby. Although each pregnancy ended in miscarriage, they were determined to have a baby. Then in the summer of 1999, Amy became pregnant with a little boy named Nate.

Because of her history, Amy was immediately monitored more closely then typical, receiving several extra ultrasounds through the Perinatal Assessment Center at Columbia St. Mary’s hospital. “We primarily worked with the perinatologists at that point,” explained Amy, “but everyone treated us very well.”

Although Amy and the baby were both very healthy, after 27 weeks of pregnancy Amy went into labor. “Nate was only 2.5 pounds when he was born and the nurses rushed him right from the delivery room into the NICU,” Richard said. “It was a very confusing, hectic situation. However our primary nurse was very calm. She explained who was responsible, what the process was and what the machines were. I felt like we were in good hands. Our physician was wonderful, too. She spent a lot of time with both of us. The communication between us, the doctors and the nurses in the NICU was solid the entire time.”

Nate spent two months in the NICU, during which time both Richard and Amy got to know their new baby, and the staff, quite well. “It can be sensory overload in the NICU. Your baby is hooked up to so many machines. The nurses were really supportive and took the time to teach us how everything worked. I learned how to read the machines so that I wouldn’t panic every time an alarm went off,” Amy recalled.

Richard said the NICU team was communicative and supportive during the two months they were there. “We never felt like we were treading on their territory. They really encourage family time and were very accommodating to us. Amy bathed Nathan, changed his diapers, held him. The nurses helped us make life as normal and calm as possible for our baby.”

To their delight, Nate is now a healthy, active boy who is looking forward to turning 7 next month.

“The follow up care from St. Mary’s was terrific, too. After we brought Nate home it wasn’t over. The staff really stayed with us to make sure the transition to home was as smooth as possible and that Nate was healthy,” Amy said.

When Richard and Amy’s second son Josh was born a few years later, the couple found themselves back in the NICU, caring for their 4-pound baby. “It had been several years since we had seen any of the NICU staff when Josh was born,” Richard said, “but it was like it had only been a few days. The nurses all remembered us by first name and even asked about Nate.” Josh is now a happy, bouncing 3-year-old.

“We feel very strongly that anyone having a baby, even at full term, should deliver in a hospital that has a NICU,” Richard said. “You never know when you will need those services and it would be even more hectic having to transfer your baby to another hospital.”

As a result of their experiences, Richard has become an active fund-raiser on behalf of St. Mary’s. “It’s my way of saying thank you to the nurses, doctors and everyone who cared for Nate and Josh, and for everything they did to make us feel comfortable and to help our boys be healthy and happy.”

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