Holiday Stress Survey of Moms

Posted: Dec. 1, 2004

While moms are busy year ‘round, a new survey reveals that 45 percent get no more than a few minutes a day to themselves during the holiday season. That's a 48 percent reduction in "me-time" from the rest of the year, according to a survey of 2,858 moms conducted by ClubMom, the free national membership organization for moms.

It's no wonder then that the holidays are a time of mixed emotions for moms across the country. Although many moms feel excited or joyous (56 percent) about the approaching holiday season, 71 percent say the holidays are stressful. The reason — they're doing the lion's share of the work!

Only half of husbands (52 percent) pull their weight and help out, while 38 percent give moms little to no help during the holidays.

Kids need to pitch in more too — 40 percent help their moms prepare for the holidays, but another 44 percent are glued to the TV or video games, leaving moms to do it all. When dads and kids do pitch in, it's mostly with the cleaning, gift wrapping or shopping.

Monica Bernstein, ClubMom's “Mom Expert,” suggests some ways moms can entice their kids to help out with holiday preparations:

• Turn housecleaning into a relay race, where each child is assigned a room and "hands off" the vacuum to another child with the shared goal of finishing by a certain time.
• Crank up the music and get the kids singing and dancing as they wrap presents, cook, clean, or fill out party invitations.
• Make a play date out of chores. Encourage your children to invite their friends to help with special tasks like baking holiday cookies, shoveling snow or decorating the tree.

What's the meaning of it all?
Sixty-two percent of moms are concerned their children will get caught up in the commercialism, instead of the true spirit, of the holidays. To help combat this, Bernstein suggests involving children in charitable activities or even volunteer work during the holiday season to help instill a true appreciation for the gifts they receive.

Thirty-five percent of moms wish their kids would participate in acts of holiday kindness. Happily, many families are embracing this notion — 70 percent of moms report their family donates food to those less fortunate during the holiday season, while 56 percent donate clothes and 48 percent give gifts to those less fortunate.

"Thank you" may be key to happy holidays for moms
When asked what their husbands could do that would mean more than any gift they could buy, 39 percent of moms wished they would say "thank you" for all they do to make the holidays special, while 36 percent would give anything for their husbands to take the kids out for the day so they could have a day to themselves. Thirty-three percent of moms wish their husbands would simply clean the house or cook a meal and 24 percent would settle for a backrub.

Kids should say "thank you" too! Bernstein encourages moms to ensure kids are sending thank you notes for every gift they receive this holiday season (an activity that only 20 percent of moms say their children always do).

Secrets for survival
To survive the stressful holiday season, Bernstein also offers these tips for moms:

• During carpool hours, commandeer the radio (for once) and listen to your favorite, relaxing tunes.
• Add a splash of spa-style to your morning shower by indulging in a delicious-smelling bath gel or fancy shampoo.
• Don't just cook to please the family — put your own favorite dishes on the dinner menu.
• Surround yourself with signs of serenity when doing household chores — hang photos of favorite things (vacation destinations, flowers, etc.) on the bathroom mirror, the fridge, even in the laundry room.

Finally, "to avoid stress, don't obsess," says Bernstein. “Instead of aiming to create a picture-perfect holiday season, ask your family what traditions really 'make' the holidays and concentrate on achieving those things. Your family will be so thrilled you've included their favorite traditions, they won't even notice if the rest isn't perfect."

Source: ClubMom survey of moms via an online poll of members between November 1 through 7, 2004.

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